I Am Weak

I have been asked to share my testimony tonight and quite frankly, I am nervous. I am not nervous about talking in public or being the center of everyone's focus for a moment. No, there is nothing to that....

I am nervous because sharing your testimony allows others to look into your "private" world. The person you were or the struggles you are having...all in the hope that they will see the vision Christ has for you or plainly to see Christ in you.

I have tried over and over to write an outline of my testimony and I am getting frustrated. God has done such amazing and wonderous things in my life that I find myself in awe over His power and graciousness. But to put it to paper is a trying task.

How do you put in ten minutes all that He has done to make you a better, more complete, humbled and saved person? How do explain in 10 minutes journeys that have taken years to complete?

Regardless of the road that has led you to Jesus...it is His spirit that keeps you there. It is the Faith you learn on your journey that keeps you moving toward the final goal. There is faith that comes from being knocked around a bit. There is truly a moment in one's life where He becomes their strong hold, their fortress. (2 Samuel 22:2 "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my Saviour" - NLT) How do you put that into words?

I know that if my testimony affects anyone this evening it will be only because of Him!

I know that each time I share about Him...He is the one in control. They are His words that are being spoken and His Spirit that is speaking because in and of myself...I am nothing. In my life I Corinthians 1:27 explains it all. ("God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong").

He has chosen me to be His daughter, He has chosen me to be the first Christian in my family and He has chosen me to do things differently and to think differently then others in my family.

Being the youngest and the "baby" of the family...I've always wondered why I have been chosen to carry some of these tasks. But then when I stop and think about it. Truly think about it with my heart and soul...I am so grateful that I was chosen at all!

I don't know what tasks He will ask of me in the future but I know that He will never give me more then He "knows" I can handle. With all this in mind I should KNOW that He will give me the words tonight. Words that will glorify Him, words that will explain my journey and words that will show the world that I am Weak and proud of it!

For in my weakness...He is Strong!

• Romans 8:26 "And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words".
  
  


• 1 Corinthians 9:22 "When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some"
  
  


• Psalm 136:23 "He remembered us in our weakness.His faithful love endures forever".
  
  


• 2 Corinthians 12:9 - "Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
  
  

Singing, Santa & Jesus!!

Even though I have a digital camera I am sometimes a bit slow in getting the photos downloaded. I just had to share a few shots of my little ones enjoying the Christmas Holiday!

This year the twins participated in our Christmas Children's Choir. I was so proud of them. Of course, I snagged front row seats, brought my camera and my Flip video. They were not shy at all. Not one teeny tiny bit. I haven't a clue where they might get that nerve from???

While waiting for service to start I snapped this photo of the twins. It has quickly become one of my holiday favorites. They were so patient and good waiting between services. We were there from 2 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. When you are waiting for Santa to arrive…that is a pretty long evening.

Thanks to my niece the twins didn't have to wait till later for dinner. She arrived saving the day with a "treat" from Burger King. I love her so much for doing that especially because she didn't forget me either! In between services we snuck out to her car to enjoy the food but it was cold!

It seems my girls are more enamored with Reindeer then they are with Santa. We made Reindeer cookies and sprinkled Reindeer "food" on the lawn. We had to make sure that the Reindeers got Santa to the correct destination. It is a very simple and quick recipe...the children love it! Simple mix oats, brown sugar and regular white granulated sugar add a dash of colored cookie crystals and presto! Reindeer food!

When you are five and you get THREE Christmas each year...well....let's just say it's a bit of Heaven on Earth. This Christmas we had the honor of hosting both sides of our families for Christmas. Thankfully, one side celebrates at night and the other side celebrates in the daytime. It leaves the morning for Santa and the four of us....pretty sweet.

Christmas Eve rocked as they un-wrapped their Barbie Hot Tub Bus and a Swim to Me Puppy. Christmas morning began with a mad dash down the stairs and hallway. It was move or get moved as they rushed to the goodies Santa left them. Our afternoon Christmas brought Baby Swim A lot (are you seeing the swimming theme here?).

Rylan and Skylar are STILL taking gifts out of boxes. Our trash man must quiver at the thought of coming to our house. Someone must really tell me why one Barbie box has a ZILLION ties and twisties!

Every year each twin buys a present for the other one. This is a lot more difficult then you could imagine. It's hard to get them alone and even harder to get them to focus on a gift for their sister and not for their own. This photo of them hugging is one of my favorite photos as they were truly thanking each other from their hearts. It was a rare "sister" moment and I was so proud.

I remember getting excited about Christmas. I anxiously anticipated the presents, lights, food and family. It is still a lot of the same joy and excitement as when I was a child but now I get to enjoy it again through my little ones. But the one big, main difference is that they understand...it is truly about Jesus!

Presents are great! Lights are Beautiful! But Jesus...HE is IT! Over and over through out the holiday the twins and I talked about his birth. They are learning about His mother, Mary and Joseph....how he was born to die so that we may live. I knew the girls had that in their mind. The seed was planted in their hearts and for that reason I could enjoy the Holidaythrough their eyes.

They are five...I'm not going to take away the twinkle and joy of receiving presents and sparkling lights but I will make sure that they are realizing the true light and present is found in Jesus Christ and not just for the evening but for always.

As a Christian mom it is struggle some times to find the balance between the joys of childhood. Balancing Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth fairy with the Truth of Jesus, the Cross and Salvation is a delicate matter.

But if you look at their faces in these photos...well, it looks like God has been guiding us in the right direction....

Mama, I Rock!

I am so proud of myself. If I could I would give myself a pat on the back! Ok, well...technically I can do t hat but well, you know what I mean!

The twins were invited to a birthday party this weekend and the theme was ballerinas. The invitation requested that all little girls dress as ballerinas.

Although we have had this invitation and planned on the party waaaay before Christmas...I procrastinated and did not think of what the girls were going to wear until the night before.

I grew up watching my sisters whip together dresses and costumes for their children so I knew that I had it in me. But the last time I made a tutu the twins complained that they were too itchy and wore them a whole 5 minutes!

Believe me it was a lot of work for them to wear them for only 5 minutes. Needless to say I never made another one. When they received the invitation they actually asked me to create a tutu for each of them. They didn't pose it as if I couldn't or wouldn't...it was a very confident..."Mama, you need to make us tutus".



Friday night I sat down with a every piece of tulle that I could find in my sewing room. I knew I didn’t have enough for the tutus to be one solid color so each daughter ended up with a multicolored tutu.

Before I started I offered up a quick prayer and started on my journey of creating a tutu for each of the twins.

It took a couple of hours but I am so proud of myself! They were a hit at the party! I was asked where I purchased them and was happy to announce I made them!

The most exciting part was that Rylan and Skylar really loved them. I heard them run downstairs and tell my husband “Mommy can sew great. She should be a fashion designer.” I received hugs and kisses and was offered my very own ballet recital!

I know when I have checked on eBay or online stores for tutus they are crazy expensive! I am thinking that I will post them on my website, GetTheCrown, and give a shot at selling them. I will make sure that mine are affordable. I know there are a lot of moms out there like me that love to have cute things for their littles ones but don't want to 'break the bank' by doing it.

I am not sure why this particular creation is so exciting for me...except that this is one of the first things that the twins have ever asked me to make and they were so happy about them. Just for a moment, I felt like I hung the moon for my girls.

It was awesome....tomorrow I might feel like I am a big failure as a mom but today....well, today...I ROCK!

Why I Have Gray Hair

There are two comments that I always get about the twins:
1) They are beautiful
2) They are so smart!

What I never hear from people is the comment "They are so mischievous". Must be because family, friends and teachers don't really know them...or at least not as well as I do.

Go with me back in time....5 1/2 years ago when I had deep brown hair...not a gray one in site.

Then, "IT" happened. I had children. Oh, you might be laughing and thinking "She's crazy"...but I would swear and promise to you that I remember seeing my first gray hair very, very shortly after the twins turned one...which is also about the time I was able to take a shower! (Not really!)

If you have watched any I LOVE LUCY shows you might remember the episode where she was babysitting twins and they tied her up! They convinced tricked her into playing cowboys and indians and were actually going to light her on fire! Somedays, especially with babysitters, I think I am going to come home to that scenario.

What can I say...I am outnumbered. From the get go their minds have acted as one. Don't get me wrong, they are very different individuals but.....when they want to get into mischief....they are on the same road.

I know you don't believe me. I can see it in your eyes as you are reading this. "What? Oh no, not those sweet dear little girls." You are saying to yourself, aren't you?

Let me give you an example. A couple of days ago the twins were happily playing with their makeup kit that Santa bought them for Christmas. Very cute little kits that have a pretend blush, eyeshadow and mini lotions. For a day or two they are happy "gettting ready" for the day each morning alongside Mommy. Putting on fresh perfume for daddy when he got home...being the ever perfect little ladies. They were being so cute about it.

Now, fast forward to Wednesday....I am in the living room watching my TiVo'd show "The Bachelor" (So much more on that later!) when Skylar comes and sits by me. Now, when only twin comes into a room, alone...something is up!

Our conversation went something like this:

Mommy: Skylar where is Rylan?
Skylar: "She is making me a present".
Mommy: "Did you leave her alone with glue or scissors?"
Skylar: "No, mama."

Ok, so now, I don't know if I just spaced out but I DID NOT IMMEDIATELY GO UPSTAIRS TO CHECK!

When I did make it upstairs I was expecting paper and stickers to be everywhere. Boy, was I in for a surprise!

Rylan came running up to me, grinning from ear to ear, so very proud of herself!
"Look, Mommy...I made this for sister"

They had found two empty white boxes left over from Christmas and gleefully covered them with body lotion and eyeshadow. Sprinkled body glitter on every part (including the carpet and dresser). There were swirls of pinks, purples and blue make up on each present. The present was expertly doused with "all" of their mini body sprays and gels. It was colorful mess to say the least.

Rylan was so proud. I couldn't hide my shock and unfortunately my disappointment. Poor Rylan, she was heartbroken.

I pulled myself together and did the "good" mommy thing. 1) I didn't yell and 2) I told her how pretty they looked and gently explained how that is NOT what we do with our makeup.

Sadly, I had to take the makeup kits away. But to my surprise they were very good regarding the punishment. They picked up every make up item and empty bottle (lots of them) and brought them to me so the could be "safe" until they were a bit older.

I guess I am going to have to call Santa and give him a little "what-for" talking. I mean, what was that jolly old man thinking? "My" twins with makekup kits!!!

I know that I must have gained about 15 new gray hairs on that day! Never mind my blood pressure.

Oh well...I hear them waking up now so I'd better get off the computer and, ouch....dang it....I feel a few more hairs turning gray as I type.....oh, motherhood! Ain't it grand?

lol....

Thorny Ground

Are you a thorn? Do you sometimes act like a thorn? Well, If I am to be honest then I have to admit that I am a thorn.

I chose to allow other things on Monday and Tuesday to crowd out my quiet time with the Lord. I wish I could say that it was an accident but in reality, it was my choice. I chose to make other things priority and before you know it my morning was gone. The children were awake, school needed to be done and bam, the day was over. No time for Jesus.

That really stinks! There isn't any other way to put it.

Today I sat down and my first thought and prayer was that I didn't want two days to turn into a week and then a month and so on. I was asking God to forgive me and help me to have the discipline that is required to spending with Him daily. I need it. I crave it.

I can feel my soul become dry (imagine a sponge without water) when I am not in the word. When I get in the word, I can feel the Holy Spirit sweep over me. I feel refreshed, redeemed and revitalized. It is not a "magic" moment...it is pure and simple...my soul longing for what only can be filled with Jesus Christ.

When I sat down to do my devotion the verse for today was:

Matthew 13:22

The thorny ground represents those who hear and accept the Good news, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares of this life and the lure of wealth, so no crop is produced.

I have never seen myself as a thorn but there it was clear as day and in black and white. It was exactly what I did on Monday and Tuesday.

In the past when I have seen this verse I have thought of people that long to be "rich & famous". You know people that are more concerned with a Louis Vuitton purses, the latest Botox or a fancy new Mercedes.

Not little ole' me.

I have never thought of the housewife who wakes up thinking of the chores that need to be done, or the errands, or (gasp) what to blog for the day!

I am guilty of waking up as if someone shot a starter pistol.

The gun shoots off and you jump out of bed, quickly you go potty, brush your teeth, take a shower, get dressed and start the laundry or the house cleaning....maybe you make breakfast for your husband and children...then you start working on the list of errands. Do you have a doctor's appointments this week, do we need to go the grocery store, etc. Before you realize it, it is lunch time and then dinner time and time for bed.

I never thought of the "care of this world" being the little cares a stay at home mom might have but guess what? They are!

Whatever it is that will take your eyes off the cross and your time away from God will be a "care of this world".

Look, I don't think that I am a thorn 24/7 but even if it is occasionally...well, what am I missing? What I am missing in learning about God, What am I missing in growing with Jesus? What am I missing in witnessing and being a light to this world?

A LOT!

I know how my daily life is different when I spend time with Jesus. I know His faithfulness when times are tough. I know that He is the one that I run to with life is good, sad, hard and happy.

No, I don't want to be a thorn (once in a while or ever). If you see yourself as a thorn too, take heart...God isn't done with us.

Philippians 1:6

"and I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns".

God will continue to form us in His image. Cutting off the dead branches, refining our hearts and creating us more and more to be like him.....We only have to allow Him the opportunity and

create the TIME.

Three Things on My Mind.....(not much else!)

I know it is Friday but with all the Holiday stuff it seems like it is Monday. Anyone else feel that way?

I woke up thinking that I really really wanted to go the bookstore and spend my certificate that I got for Christmas. But, well....it's cold out there!

Anyway, that isn't at all what I am thinking about right now. Nope, I have had three random thoughts that I just had to share. None of these connect to each other but well, they are just what I am thinking about right now. Like the title says...not much more in there at 7:30 in the morning...other then I really really R-E-A-L-L-Y needing a Coke or Pepsi!

So the first thing...Does anyone else care that Mervyn's closed? I am so sad. Mervyn's was a dear friend. I remember shopping for school clothes with my Mom at the Mervyn's in San Bernardinon on 2nd Street. That was when it first opened and it was a brand new store and had the most rocking clothes! Mervyn's and I separated for a while as I discovered Nordstrom's and Malls. When I became a mom we reconnected and now, my dear friend is forever gone! Now where am I going to shop for all my "hip and cool" clothes....yeah, right, okay no one believes that line...but really where am I going to shop now????


Speaking of friends....what do you call someone that will travel to Europe and take the time to send your kids postcards? I call that a F-R-I-E-N-D! Here is a tip for all you non-mommies out there. Want to show your friends with kids you really care? Do something for their children. Really, I am not joking. As a mom I don't give a hoot if I get a present or people compliment me...but tell my twins they look cute, make a big deal of the colored picture or friendship bracelet they made you (even if it looks like they made it with their feet! I promise you they didn't, really!), or bring them a little gift....You have my heart! Bend at your knees to talk to them rather than stooping or looking down at them. Make them feel like "real" people and you will ROCK in my book. I was thinking of all the amazing people God has placed in our lives within the last two years and I am beyond blessed and floored.


The last thinking on mind (because I am really craving a soda...with extra caffeine...any Amens out there?) Psalm 37!

This is a beautiful verse that my niece sent to me. I just had to share it with you. Read it slowly and allow the words to sink into your heart and soul.

Psalm 37


5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:


6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.


7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.


8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.


9 For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.


10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.


11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy great peace.


12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;


13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.

Verses 8 & 9 really speak to me, not because I think I am wicked (well, better ask my kids first..on second thought, please don't) but because I know all too well how quickly a temper or an attitude can lead to ruining a day or creating turmoil for your family.

Sometimes...something as simple as seeing someone that has hurt your or caused you pain can ignite that fire. But, I don't want to be cut off from the Lord. Not for one moment. Have I ever been cut off? Of course, I am human. I was born with a sin nature and have the ability to think of "me first" more often then I want to admit.

I have had moments in my life where I have had to dust myself off and come humble before the throne because I "knew" I was not glorifying God. As my husband say, when "I got hit by a 2x4".

Proverbs 24:16 Reminds us "...for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity".

Yes, there are times you have to crawl back, ask forgiveness and start again. Verse 13 reminds us that God is the Alpha and Omega (Revelation 22:13). He truly knows the "end" for each of us. I'm glad that I can rest in the knowledge that He is securely watching over me and out for me.


Now, I am going to get my soda. I am totally addicted to sodas (Please blame my sisters and mom for this fault...note....you DO NOT put soda into children's bottles....ahm....mom! lol but hey, those were the days before seat belts, bicycle helmets, vaccination protest and so on and so on...but I seemed to come out okay...did I mention I wanted a soda?)

You know there are mornings where you just "sit" there. Maybe at the table drinking coffee or in front of the computer or television. You know you have a long list of things to accomplish but truly have absolutely no goal or desire to do them. That is how I feel today. I'm exhausted. I want to take the twins to visit Santa but frankly, don't really care if we get there today.

It rained and snowed all day yesterday and it is cold. I know, perfect weather for Santa, but not perfect weather for this home grown IE Mommy.

Welcome to my world! I am the "IE Mommy" formerly the IE Mom blogger from Inland Empire Family Magazine but alas, things change and life revolves into other forms and here I am!

I fell in love with blogging last year and was offered an amazing opportunity to blog for IE Family Magazine. It wasn't a permanent job so I was not surprised when they chose to create a new group of moms for 2009.

What did surprise me was the joy I found in blogging. Yikes....did I really say that?
I guess I did because here I am.

I hope you enjoy my journeys, joys and trials as a mom of twins living in the Inland Empire!